Thursday, July 12, 2007
A lone
I feel like everyone has been moving ahead in their lives except for me. I thought that everything was going to work out this time but sometimes it doesn't seem like it. I'm afraid to voice my concerns, my worries, my insecurities-fear of pushing away, seeming needy. Need to talk and only want to do it with one person-the one that I could push away the most. Wish I had that magic wand to make everything better. It's frustrating for me to know that my ex has moved on with someone stupid and has plans for the future. I know that I shouldn't compare myself to him of all people but it still hurts. What is wrong with me? Was it something I did? I said? I just want to curl up in a little ball and forget the world. Either that or get stupid drunk. Thought that I was stronger than this. Maybe even the strong have their weak points and this is mine. Do you see what's happening here? I feel like I'm fighting for something that I don't know will be there. Do you appreciate what I've done? Do you see that I'm trying? Do you see that I'm trying to be there in any way that I can-friend, lover? So alone I feel. So alone.
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3 comments:
Your not alone :) ((hugs))
Aw, hugs, Jen. Sometimes you just got to give in to a bad day and know that tomorrow will be better. Hang in there, hon.
I love ya you crazy bitch. And if you want to get stupid drunk.... you know where I live. Things will get better, they always do. One way or another. Just take each day as a learning experience and learn from your mistakes as well as others. Yes it sucks to hear that someone you deeply cared about has moved on with someone else and is planning a future but you can't linger on that because how will you fully let someone else in? No I don't know first hand what it's like to be divorced but I do know what it's like to be with someone who is. When someone says they're over their ex and are done with them and whatever else to convince another that they're over this situation and then they say something about their ex and the life they're choosing that sounds as jealousy, it really makes the other person wonder if they will ever let you in. It really puts a lot of doubt in ones mind because they know that there are still issues that hadn't been resolved yet. I'm not proofreading this before I send it to you so who knows if it will make sense to you but I just want you to see that you really need to find some closure, real closure so you can move on and enjoy everything the world has to offer you. I won't be offended if you don't post this and want to keep this between us. I love ya girl and wish you the best. Everything will work out and if it's meant to be Scott will find his way home back in your heart.
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