New Blog Alert

I've decided to write a blog about the DVDs/VHS/movies that I watch since it seems like I'm watching a lot of them. Hope you enjoy.

Major thought for Monday

I laugh at you and your pathetic life

Lunch time

It's lunch and I'm not really all that hungry. Plus, I still feel like crap. I can't seem to have my office temperature adjusted to something comfortable. I don't feel like cooking but I don't want to leave it to Scott because then I'll have to wash dishes-not good. So maybe I can just find something simple to make and call it a day. Ho hum.

Thoughts for Sunday

Being sick sucks
People at work must be bored

Brain gender

Your Brain is 60% Female, 40% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

What kind of soul?

You Are a Hunter Soul

You are driven and ambitious - totally self motiviated to succeed Actively working to acheive what you want, you are skillful in many areas. You are a natural predator with strong instincts ... and more than a little demanding. You are creative, energetic, and an extremely powerful force. An outdoors person, you like animals and relate to them better than people. You tend to have an explosive personality, but also a good sense of humor. People sometimes see you as arrogant or a know it all. You tend to be a bit of a loner, though you hate to be alone. Souls you are most compatible with: Seeker Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Room

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget. You are a very grounded, responsible, and realistic person. People may not want to hear the truth from you, but they're going to get it. You believe that people see you as a bit small and insignificant. People pay more attention to you than you think. Your near future is calm, relaxing, and pretty much what you want. And it's something you've been anticipating for a while now. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

Animal Personality

Your Animal Personality

Your Power Animal: Eagle Animal You Were in a Past Life: Whale You are active, a challenger, and optimistic. Hard-working, you are always working towards a set goal.

The Animal Personality Test

What the F*%#? OMG

You Are Most Like George W. Bush

So what if you're not exactly popular? You still rule the free world. And while you may be quite conservative now, you knew how to party back in the day!

What Modern US President Are You Most Like?

Weather?

You Are Rain

You can be warm and sexy. Or cold and unwelcoming. Either way, you slowly bring out the beauty around you. You are best known for: your touch Your dominant state: changing

What Type of Weather Are You?

Asian Country

You Should Travel to Cambodia

While you might not go all Angelina Jolie and adopt a baby... You can still appreciate Cambodia's rich history and deserted beaches.

What Asian Country Should You Visit?

Thoughts for Saturday

Have I gone to more Mets games than Jeremy now that we're no longer?
Things are looking up.
Game time!!!

How not to do work

Make sure that your company's network system crashes. Note, you need to make sure that all of your paperwork is on your personal network drive so when the network system crashes, you cannot access your personal drive.

Another night

by my lonesome. I really shouldn't complain about it. Of course, I wasn't expecting Scott to be going over to Matt's this week and had taken meat out to defrost and I had to cook it up tonight before it went bad. And can I tell ya something? I can cook! Something that Jeremy never really had the chance to experience but that's his loss. I made some Southwestern Mac and Cheese from my WW cookbook. Pretty damn tasty if I say so myself. So now I need to find something to do before Big Brother starts tonight. I kinda wish that I wasn't by myself as I've had a migraine all day long but I don't know if Scott being here would help-he's been kinda low energy lately and it's been getting to me. I almost wonder if this is what Mike, Sal, Jeremy, and Shondu experienced while being with me. So, anyway, I hope that Scott is having fun getting his haircut right now and then playing Sea Strike with Matt. I'm sure that I'll find something to do-I think that Poker is calling me right now since I don't feel like watching this Rachel repeat.

Thoughts for the day

Training can be extremely painful...especially when having a migraine
Gotta love kiss asses
Still being pathetic
How much can one take?

Major thoughts for today

Fuckin' tourists!!!!!!!!
Fuckin' rain!!!!!!!!
Trouble in paradise

Success

Finally did a whole workout this morning. Hopefully this will be the start of something. I still need to sign back up with my gym but I'm thinking about waiting until Scott and I go on vacation next month. I'll probably go back this week and check to see how much it's going to cost me before I make a final decision.

States I've visited

create your own visited states map

Thoughts for Monday

Why is it that when I don't bring a journal, I have lots of ideas?
Again, why the hell do guys feel the need to spread their legs out so wide? Guess what! I have big thighs and need to air myself out-close your damn legs-your packages are NOT that big.
Do I have a sign on me that says rest on me?
Going back to where you had your "honeymoon" can make you feel a little awkward especially when 3 years later, you're divorced.
I like the beach!!!!
Zeit takes up way too much room sometimes.

Romance

Is it alive or dead these days?
What happens when your idea of romance does not always agree with the one that you're with?
Do you agree to sacriface an intregal part of yourself? Or do you do what you can to have your ideas of romance be a part of the relationship?
What happens when you try and they get cast aside?
Do you then just hold onto your ideas of romance through movies?

Thoughts for Friday

Where is she?
Can you be anymore pathetic?
Will I ever have a normal exam?
Well, I guess I survived.
I'm extremely lucky to have Scott on my side.

From a yahoo group friend

Thoughts for today

1 shower or 2?
I'm being watched over by my kids of the past
Is it just me or are more people sleeping on the train these days?
Isn't miscommunication just wonderful?
Cops causing car accidents-gotta love it.

Finished my class

I finished my forensics class today. I have to say that it was pretty informative and fun trying to solve 2 cases. I'll probably be taking some more online classes to learn other things that I'm interested in.

10 Years

10 Freakin' Years
Okay, so I'm stealing this from Kristie, who got it from somewhere else, I believe. Neat how that works.

Ten years ago, it was 1996. Take this survey, post the results, and see how many things have changed since then.

1) How old were you?
THEN: 19/20
NOW: 29/30

2) Where did you go to school?
THEN: Southampton College of Long Island University
NOW: I probably should finish up my Master's-so maybe I'll finish it at Fordham

3) Where did you work?
THEN: I didn't-was going to school full-time-I might have been tutoring
NOW: as a social worker

4) Where did you live?
THEN: in a dorm
NOW: Brooklyn

5) How was your hairstyle?
THEN: long-no real style
NOW: growing it out-kinda long with layers

6) Did you wear braces?
THEN: No.
NOW: No.

7) Did you wear contacts?
THEN: Yes.
NOW: no

8) Did you wear glasses?
THEN: yes
NOW: yes

9) Who was your best friend?
THEN: Mike, Tracy, Tricia, Ken
NOW: Tracy, Tricia, Scott, Ken

10) Which of your pets were still alive?
THEN: I had a hermit crab
NOW: Zeit, Suzie, Tiger, Boots, Jul

11) Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend?
THEN: Kinda Mike, Eric and Erik
NOW: Scott :-)

12) Who was your celebrity crush?
THEN: Andre Agassi, Kevin Costner, Denzel Washington
NOW: Andre Agassi, Denzel Washington, Taye Diggs

13) Who was your regular-person crush?
THEN: Mike, Ken
NOW: Ken

14) How many piercings did you have?
THEN: two in each ear.
NOW: Same.

15) How many tattoos did you have?
THEN: None.
NOW: 2

16) What was your favorite band/singer?
THEN: Metallica, Tori Amos
NOW: Live, Tori Amos

17) Had you smoked cigarettes?
THEN: yes
NOW: No.

18) Had you gotten drunk?
THEN: yes
NOW: I guess

19) Had you DRIVEN?
THEN: Yes.
NOW: Yes.

20) If so which car?
THEN: 1988 Pontiac Lemans
NOW: don't have one

21) Looking back, are you where you thought you would be in 2006?
Definitely not.

Motivation...or lack there of

I cannot seem to get any motivation to get back on an exercise regime. I start a dvd and then stop after about 5 or 10 miinutes. It's not like the dvds are bad. I just can't stick with it. It could be because I still can't afford a gym membership yet and that has me a little bummed. I need to do something before my clothes really start to not fit me.

Thoughts for the day...

Mush is great-especially when accompanied by cat hair
If you dislike me so much, why do you bother to check on my life?
Good thing I'm happy
What to do? What to do?
Scott's friends are wacky.
Will I be able to not cry if and when I get remarried?
Zeit hogs the couch, the bed, the floor, whatever she can lie on.
Cats should not have soda flicked on them.
What to do? What to do?
Finally....training is over and done with.
Can my boss be anymore obnoxious at a training?
Who knows when I'll be in my other office which opens next week.
The past will never seem to let go.
I'm sick and tired of residing in the Big Apple and really want to get out.
What to do? What to do?

Just when I thought it was safe

It came back to pay a visit during their work day.
Oh well-see how it looks and feels to have moved on and away from the stupid chaos!

Training Days

Ho hum. The last training day for me-a refresher of what I've been sitting in the past 2 days!!! And to start it all off, I'm a trainer in what I was being "trained" in Monday and Tuesday. Doesn't make sense does it? I can understand taking the refresher training today-which is supposed to be geared towards trainers-but not the past 2 days when I'm already a trainer. Yes, it was okay to sit there and get a refresher from the developer BUT to then be there today? No sense. And it's all thanks to the Head Hancho. Could be worse, of course. But still, 3 days?!?!?!?

"Run Away! Run Away!"

Last night, Scott and i went to see Spamalot on Broadway. I highly recommend it to any fan of Monty Python. It's similar to The Holy Grail but enough has been changed with new jokes that it doesn't seem like the jokes are played out. It was also great to see that Eric Idle, who wrote it, doesn't take himself seriously. Spamalot spoofed on almost anything, including Broadway musicals and what goes into a Broadway musical. Both Scott and I laughed out loud during several parts. The casting was decent-no real famous names but still great singing and dancing. I'm glad that I've been able to see it as I had been wanting to see it since it came out last year.

Finished my first short story in years

Had some time to finish up my short story that I started a couple of months ago. I'm impressed that I was able to finish it. Now I just have to type it on Scott's laptop-which will be a review-and then have my editor for life (Scott) read and tear it apart when he gets the chance.
It's a story about overcoming a major obstacle. It was an idea that I had running in my head for a while and, of course, while writing it, it took a life of it's own. So I still have an original idea bopping around in my head. And I still have my Kill, The Urge Is In Me series of poetry. I can always come up with additional ones for that!

Finished another project

I seem to be on a roll lately. Even though, my anklet isn't too complicated, I finished it last night. I'm still not sure what I'll be doing next-probably a needlepoint for my friend's mother-a repeated project of something I made for my mother for Mother's Day. I do also have several other projects that have been started and need to be completed. And, who can forget, all the latch hooks kits that are in the back room that still need to be done? Unfortunately, some don't have a home to go to anymore-gifts that were going to be made for my ex and his family. Oh well.

Ken really does exist!

For those of you who have teased me for too many years about Ken only being a doll, I have a witness that has seen him!
My friend from work, Allison and I went to see Journey and Def Leppard last night at Jones Beach and Ken was also there with his girlfriend. I knew that he was going but wasn't expecting him to be sitting about 12 rows in front of me. And seeing him brought back several memories. I've been friends with him for 13 years and have lusted after him for most of those years. Yes, he has returned the lustful feelings so it hasn't been a complete waste of my emotions. Ken would be the one big temptation. But seeing Ken also reinforced my feelings of never wanting or needing to cheat on Scott. Something that still surprises me at times. Guess that when you are in a positive relationship without little girls from the past butting in you can remain focused on that positive relationship.

Sports News Update

Andre Agassi is retiring after the US Open this summer. Now for me, this is probably the end of tennis for a while. I've enjoyed watching Andre play ever since he first stepped out on the pro circuit with his wild and crazy hair. I've been a fan of his since then and never wavered. I cried when he won Wimbledon. I've cried when I first watched him practice with his then coach, Brad Gilbert, at the US Open several years ago. This year, Scott and I are going to the US Open and hopefully, he will be playing the first night like he used to.

A Few of My Favorite Things

Scott
Zeit
Suzie
Tiger
Boots
Jul
Crackhead Cuz
Finally having a stable office
Bosses who lend me their DVDs
Bosses who understand that animals are more important than the humans that we serve.
Friends who will never have me be a godparent for their children.
Friends who have major arguments are able to put the past behind and friends again.
The freedom of going to relive my youth and seeing Def Leppard in concert-despite the hellish commute.
The fact that I was able to see my favorite band on my birthday.
The ability to read.
The ability to understand and enjoy games.
Cooking a kick ass meal
When someone else cooks a kick ass meal.
A good cup of joe made by me.
A good cup of Joe made by someone else and it's free.
Being divorced.
Knowing I have a future.
Seeing Scott come home.
Going on vacation.
Seeing Andre Agassi play at the US Open.
Getting a hug and being called Sweetheart by Denzel Washington.
Being 2 feet away from stealing Colin Quinn's leather jacket.
Knowing that I will not be spending the rest of my life in the Big Apple.
Finishing craft projects.
Walking in the rain.
Seeing a flashing neon number.
Being in love.

-all of these are in no particular order

Decided to treat myself

with my next craft project-an anklet. Since I'm slightly ahead of schedule, I figured that I could start an anklet for me and if I need to start a new scheduled project, then I could. The anklet is of pastel colors-hopefully Scott will show me how to download pictures from his digital so I can upload them onto my blog as I have several finished craft projects that I want to exhibit.
Also, I decided to rejoin my gym. So today, I'm going to sign back up. I'll probably be going before work like I used to. I'm just so sick and tired of looking at what I call, this disgusting body. I've gained too much weight over the past year (could only imagine why with the problems with Jeremy and money). So I need to do this for myself, so I can be happy with myself. Maybe this will spark something in Scott as he has stated that he isn't happy with the way that he looks either (even though, to me, he's fine).

Pathetic

I guess I'm just not supposed to be left alone by my past. I got an email from my ex-husband's girlfriend telling me to grow up, etc. Of course, she's responding to something that was written over a week ago and all she does is focus on how I gave my ex-husband my blogsite information-not her mind you but him and by mistake no less. Not even worth responding to now. I do have to admit that when I saw it, all I did was laugh, forward it to my ex and let it go. For some reason, the past continues to linger. I hope that they find something that they like. All I can say is that go ahead, read about my life, and see how I've moved on. See how I'm happy. If I write something that pisses you off-good. If I write something that makes you laugh or smile-even better. Just don't bother me. For you to go on my site everyday and like today, at least 3 times, it's just pathetic.

Just have to say.....

that I'm an extremely lucky person. I'm in love and am loved back. I have a decent job. I have my crackhead. I have my friends. Sure, things will always be wanted but right now, I don't need them. So to those that I've mentioned, just want to tell you that I appreciate having you in my life.

Let it go

Are you that afraid that I'll say something about you or the one that you're with? Are you jealous of what a happy life looks like? Are you just bored at work? Just let it go. I have nothing left to say to you or the one that you're with. It's over. The situation is over. Go on and try to be happy with your life. Don't bother looking in the past. If I need to contact you, I will. If I need to contact the person that you're with, I will. Just let it go.

2nd week

It's the start of my second week with my own people. I have to say that I have a small advantage over others in the fact that I'm dealing with a small amount of people compared to others. This is also my challenge as most of these people know each other and have a strong relationship with each other. At least I tentatively have meetings scheduled. And I have 17 cases to deal with. Now if only the supplies would come.

Finished another craft

I finished a project that I was making for a regular viewer. Hope that they enjoy it. So far, this year, I've been making some great progress on getting some of my craft projects done. Unfortunately, I don't feel like I'm getting enough done but I know that I will soon enough.

Brooklyn Botanical Gardens

Last year, my ex, Sal, had given me a membership to these gardens. I'm taken advantage of the membership so a thank you to Sal. I try to go every month and everytime I go, I'm amazed at how much it changes month after month. Today I went to check out the roses and they were beautiful-lots of different colors-and of course, I forgot to bring the camera. Guess, I'll just have to go back! I also got several plants for the apartment, something that Scott and I had been discussing for months. I just hope that they survive. I also hope that the cats stay away from them!

It's over

Jeremy called me yesterday to congratulate me on the divorce-strange, yes I know but he's a strange man at times. It lead me to lots of mixed emotions: anger, sadness, concern. Definitely steps back from where I was at before the call. The conversation didn't really answer questions that I had but it just doesn't matter anymore. He's free to do what he wants. And more importantly, I'm free to do what I want. Fully cherish who I'm with and plan for the future as needed. So with that being said....Good-bye Jeremy

After my own boy

adopt your own virtual pet!

For Boss Lady

adopt your own virtual pet!

IT'S OFFICIAL

At least according to the court website....I'm officially divorced. I'm officially single. I now have Jeremy legally out of my life. And, of course, I have understandable mixed feelings. I will and have missed Jeremy being a intregal part of my life but I don't miss the fights. I can now move on with what I want to do and not worry about being legally attached. Also, confession time....I lied to you. About something rather big. All I can say is that at least it got you moving. So how does it feel to be lied to by someone who loves you? As long as you are where you are, get used to the lying and betrayal. How does it feel to be on the receiving end of the lie?
Jeremy- I will miss you. A small part of me will forever love and care about you. If you decide to listen to this piece of advice-hold onto it-if you're not happy or planning on fulfilling other's dreams, then stop leading them on-it isn't fair to them. Do what you need to do to be happy in your life. And like you learned with our marriage, never sacriface yourself for someone else.

RIP

Shasta passed away. She was Scott's mother and stepfather's sweet adorable border collie, husky mix dog. Even though I only had the pleasure of seeing her a couple of times, she made an impact on me. She would immediately recognize me as one of the people that paid attention to her and actually shared her time with me and Dave. I'm sure that Dave, especially, is so sad about losing his little girl. I hope that both of them are doing okay and will lean on others if needed. Shasta, now you're out of pain, and looking down at your family. You were such a sweet dog.

My new animal

adopt your own virtual pet!

Progress

Well, I was able to type up the short story that I've been working on-yeah me. Surprisingly it's already 5 pages and I'm not done with it. I've also been able to get some new cds listened to. Not too bad. Here's to progress!

Back to the gym?

Now that one of my offices is officially open and I'm somewhat stable. I'm thinking about rejoining my gym. I've gained way too much weight the past year after working so hard to get it off. And medication doesn't help. So when I went to court yesterday, I remembered that the gym that I was a member at is right there so I'm debating on going in and taking a look at prices for membership. I need to get rid of this weight and my videos and DVDs are not helping me lose it-keep it stable yes but not losing it.

Another cute one

What the...? for football fans

If you're a fan of American football and haven't heard what happened to the Pittsburgh Steelers star quarterback-you know the one who was smart enough to win the last Superbowl in February-here you go. He was in a motorcycle accident. In stable but serious condition. Now my main question is....if you play in one of the hardest hitting sports where a helmet is a must, why the hell wouldn't you were one while driving a motorcycle-one of the most deadliest vechicles if you get in an accident?

RIP

to Nelly, a sweet kind beagle who passed away last Friday. I know that you will be missed and that you gave great pleasure to your mom. I know that you were heartbroken when your husband, Fred, passed away last year. But now, you're back with your Fred and looking over your mom and brother Spanky. I had fun seeing you when I came over to walk Spanky and Fred. Your sweet, soft, brown eyes with the slight wag of your tail. You lived a good life, Nell.

I'm confused

If you say that you only check my blog because I've written on someone else's, why do you continue to look at my blog? Especially since I don't post and never have posted anything on your blog nor on someone else's? Confusion sinks in-guess it must be jealousy of what a good life looks like-or maybe you're actually concerned. Gee, how nice...well, I wish you weren't.

Finally

After what feels like a year or so, one of my permanent offices is opening today. So I'll have a shorter commute part-time which will truly cut in on my reading time. But, at least, I'll be in control. People will be coming to me...the Queen of a borough, for assistance! Yes, I'm having a little ego problem right now-blaming it on the coffee. Now I just need to find something to do before I have to leave and meet a coworker in order to open up the office and get my keys. I've already gotten ready so I don't know what to do-maybe I'll do the dishes or I could concentrate on my forensics class.

Still in pain

Even though I haven't done much today other than watch Fame: Season 1, work on my latest craft project (a gift for a regular) and played a little poker, I still have a headache-not quite as bad as earlier today but it comes and goes. My pain in my side has been consistent which is unusual-hopefully it will end by the time I head into work tomorrow.
At least I have the royal family keeping me company.

Will I ever feel 100% again?

I woke up this morning with that pain in my side and with another headache. Scott and I planned on both of us going to CT to help celebrate a huge milestone for his brother but I've decided not to go because of how I'm feeling. I'm so sick and tired of getting these headaches. I've been used to getting the side pains for years but these headaches are relatively new. I probably should follow-up with my doctor and then take the risk of having to get a MRI-something that I did not do well with the last time I went. So now to occupy my time until I need to go to bed.

Cuteness alert

Tell me this isn't cute

Thanks ASPCA

Dealing with the bullshit

It's amazing what so-called adults will do to each other. I'm not innocent of this. I did try to be the bigger person and ask for an agreement of ending the feud-which of course I didn't get a response-I'll assume that it's fine. I deleted the ridiculous comments that both of us were making because it wasn't helping anyone. All it was doing was pissing each other off. It's my blog and I will post what I want, what I feel. I know that it will piss off others but that's why they have their own blogs to say what they want. I'm not going to apologize for lashing out about the antics of my husband. It's just more proof that I made the right decision when I left him. For some, they don't know the complete story and they never will unless they can stop trying to only take one side and actually attempt to listen to the other side. But, then again, the complete story doesn't involve certain people, and it never should. My marriage to my husband is about me and him. So is the divorce. For some, they forget that I did help pay for it. I did agree to having it done in the first place. There were several reasons why I left my husband. I believe that my husband knows most of them, maybe doesn't understand it all, but knows them. I'm beyond the point of asking him to understand why anymore. It's obvious that I've moved on and I'm happy. It's obvious that he moved on-whether he's happy or not-I'm not 100% sure that he is. But then again, I don't know what would make him 100% happy. In my opinion, the best thing that I did for myself, was getting out of the vicious cycle that the 4 of us were in. I can only hope that if the other 3 are not happy, that they do what is necessary to make themselves happy and if it's getting out of the cycle, then they need to get out of it. I hope that some don't continue to live in the fog that they have been living in for the past 8 years. But if they can live in the fog and pretend to be happy, then it's their choice. If you feel the need to lash out against me, don't bother. Have a bitch session with each other. I'm through with going back and forth with the childish behaviors.

Live's new album

Is somewhat a disappointment. I managed to finally find a copy yesterday and listened to it to try to unwind from the bullshit of yesterday but I found myself disappointed in the album. If only it was like the concert.

LIVID

I am soooooooooooooooooooo pissed off right now. And yet again more proof that Jeremy is a FUCKING COWARD. He did something that we agreed wasn't going to be done and now I'm extremely sorry that I went along with signing affidivits for him. FUCKING BASTARD. I can only hope that Donna wakes up and sees that she will never get what she wants from him-marriage, kids, etc. Forget about him remaining truthful or not betraying her in some fashion-she already had to sign something for him. Why does she bother with him? I know the reasons why and I won't post them here. It's not necessarily her fault that she's with a fucking loser who has no concept of being honest with someone that he cares (cared?) about.

my life

Well, I'm really enjoying my class so far. I'm already doing lesson 3.
I'll be going to one of my permanent offices starting Monday-WooHoo!!! About time!
Divorce should be finalized hopefully in a couple of weeks.
I still like Scott (yeah, amazing I know).
Royal Family continues to thrive.
Apartment is finished.
Crafts are getting done.
Games are being played.
Meals are being cooked.

New class

Well, I'm taking an online class at Barnes and Noble University. I'm taking a forensic class. It sounds interesting and the book that I need to read looks interesting. So I'll probably start that tonight. I've always had an interest in forensic psychology and shows like CSI have increased my interest. Before my current job, I was considering going to John Jay College for forensic psychology but never felt like taking that damn test to enter. I still have strong urges to go back and learn everything I can about the subject. I have done some interesting reading-one for example was the book written about The Body Farm run by Dr. Buss. So now I'm starting this class and I hope that I'll learn something that will influence me to go learn more or not.

Little Suzy Homemaker

It's official-I've gone completely insane and have turned into a little homemaker. Right now, I'm baking chocolate banana bread. I made pancakes this morning. I tried to repair Scott's clothes on Friday. I'm trying to consistantly work on my crafts. What is the world coming to?

Crafts

I've been trying to increase my time in getting some of my craft projects done. I've also joined a few crafting groups on yahoo. Some of these people have so much talent! In fact I was looking at some blogs this morning of people who have done some fantastic crochet projects. I'm becoming more and more inspired to take some lessons and start working on crochet and/or knit projects.

Trying to recapture my college days

As I've stated several times, Scott likes to play games. Luckily, so do I and one of the ones that I've missed playing is the classic Dungeons and Dragons. I used to play this in college with my then boyfriend Mike, and our friends, Ben, Heather, sometimes Nick, and the Dungeon Master, Dan. Dan set us up on several great missions-one year was based on what we had to read during our senior year-The Iliad. We played for 2 years-the first year I was Bob. I forgot exactly what type of character Bob was but the following year, I was Bobina-the great great great granddaughter of Bob. She was a vampress. Probably the biggest surprise, at least for Dan, was we were facing a giant and I said that Bobina was going to have sex with it. Even better, I survived. I had to roll a 19 or a 20 on a 20-sided die. So now, Scott knows about my memories about playing D & D so he wanted to get a game that would be reminiscent for me of D & D. We purchased a game called Runebound this week and are in the middle of playing it now. I enjoy it and it does have a similar feel to D & D where you are faced with adventures. What's missing for me is the atmosphere of which I played it in and I know that I'll never get that back with Mike, Ben, Heather and Dan being so far apart and some of us not speaking with each other. So here's to the memories.

Weekend time!!!!

Finally some peace and quiet without people trying to repair the walls. Even though it's been a strange week, I'm glad that the weekend is here. More time to finish up some craft projects-one I cannot post as it's a surprise for a regular reader but some others that I'm in the process of doing is a Garfield cross stitch for my Dad's birthday and a hot air balloon needlepoint for my aunt for whenever I finish it (I've been doing it for years already). So far this year, I've been able to get some of my craft stuff done or organized-one of my goals for the year. I still have a lot more to do but hopefully I'll get to them sooner than later.
Update on the royal family:
Tiger is fine just has to go on a diet.
Zeit has a deflated blueberry.
Boots is still a crackhead kitty.
Suzie has found a new windowsill to sit on (makes for showering time interesting).
Scott is okay despite the stress of missing work.
I'm doing okay now that my body is getting back to normal.

New Yahoo Group

I've decided to start my own yahoo group covering 2 interests of mine-reading and crafts.
It's free and if you would like to join in you can get the link from here:
Reading and Crafts Group

Cowardliness (grumble grumble...damn editors!)

I don't have the time to continue to deal with people, in particular one, who cannot face up to the fact that they fucked up, leaked something to someone, and then cannot even apologize for doing it. It's just a sign of their immaturity and reinforces my knowledge that what I did 1.5 years ago was the right decision. So to you cowards out there, it's time to grow up before life really throws you the nasty curveball and you have to be mature and take responsibility for your actions. You might even have to learn to apologize or better yet understand what it means to be held in confidence and have someone trust you.

Back to work it is

As much as I enjoyed (note sarcasm) staying home and watching people destroy my apartment to only put it back together, I'm needed at work. I have a major meeting this afternoon where my attendance is absolutely necessary. It's almost so nice being needed. So Scott gets to stay home. Unfortunately, Tiger is having some bathroom issues so if something doesn't happen soon, I have a feeling that it will be a vet visit soon.

Life continues to go on

Despite seeing things that I shouldn't see. Know things that I shouldn't know. Get reinforcement about certain people being more and more untrustworthy.
It's amazing how you ask that certain parts of your life are not told to others, in particular, people who are lying cheating sluts who have never been known to keep their mouths shut and don't need to know anything about your life and you find out that something that you told about your health is blurted to the whole world. If I wanted my health to be told to the whole world, I would have done it here or told the people that I knew would spread it around like wildfire. Of course, an apology from the fucking stupid coward would be great-luckily I know I won't be getting a genuine one-especially not after all of these years of going through hell and back.
On the good side, supposedly Jeremy is going back to court today to turn in the rest of the papers so hopefully this divorce will be finished soon...very soon.
Hopefully the guys who were supposed to be here 50 minutes ago show up soon to finish the walls of my apartment. At least I have The West Wing to keep me company (thanks Ramon).

A Big Friendly Wave to...

The department of education of New York City-hope that you're getting some stuff done despite the craziness of this morning-and guess what! They're still at lunch.

Life or whatever

Well, currently the apartment which Scott, the royal family and I call home is being revamped due to some beautiful leakage problems. Scott had been having problems with leak problems long before I moved in. Unfortunately, I was never told about them. So imagine my surprise last week when I came home, checking on Jul, and see that part of the ceiling in the office had fallen onto the bed. I immediately called Scott who then informed me of previous leaks. Needless to say, I don't need the added chaos. So today, Scott calls me and tells me that they are here and are going to start fixing it today. One catch being that they will be fixing about 3 rooms and a doorway. The other catch being that he's needed at work and if he doesn't go in, it will be more stress and chaos on him-something that I don't want to deal with-not that I necessarily mind dealing with his tiredness, etc-I'll just try anything to avoid it as much as possible. Anyway, so thanks to the bestest boss lady in the world (with, of course, some of the cutest animals) I'm here so Scott can go to work. Now let me tell you how upsetting it is to come home and find your walls being torn down. The place to which you lay your head down at night. The place where you try to find serenity and peace especially after dealing with the NYC chaos. At least the guys that are working seem to be nice and they make me want to practice my Spanish on them but I won't.

issues

If you are consistantly looking at my blog to see your past-please stop. All you are doing is adding stress to my life. Just do what you need to do. Let me know whether OR NOT you've done it. Then leave me alone. Completely leave me alone.

Literature testing

The Librarian You scored 63 erudition!

Congratulations! You're well above average when it comes to your knowledge of English grammar, history, and literature. You may have missed a few questions, but if you keep your studies up and stay away from genre fiction, we'll have you ready for Stanford in no time! Who knows, we just might be reading your columns in Talk of the Town a few years from now.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 15% on erudition

Link: The Are You Truly Erudite? Test written by okellelala on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

It's obvious

that as hopefully my finalization of my divorce is approaching, I'm getting more and more anxious about it. I'm having dreams about it on a weekly basis and getting more and more frustrated by not getting any answers from Jeremy in regards to him actually returning to court now that he has my documents. Some of the dreams are just about the papers. Some of them actually deal with facing Jeremy. Hard to believe that only a relatively short time ago, I had my best friend at my side and now it's over. For any of you that want to hear this, cherish the person that you are with. Make sure that they know that you love them and are committed to them and are willing to work out whatever difficulties that you two will face.

Memorial Day weekend

So what are your plans for the 3 day weekend? Will you at least take a moment on Monday to pay respect for our fallen soldiers? Will you break out the grill and cook the summer favorites? Will you head to the beach to enjoy the sun and sand? Will you just be thankful that summer is fast approaching or will you be wanting the cooler temperatures to come back?
I don't have many plans for this weekend. I'm sure that I will take a moment to think about my grandfathers who both fought in WWII. There's talk about gaming but I feel that if there has been no motivation all week to do anything, why should the weekend be any different? I definitely won't be heading to the beach-too many people and as for the temperatures-I'm mixed-why can't it just remain Spring like temperatures? I'm just thankful that I have a 3-day weekend.

Living in the Big Apple

Oh the joys. You have the commutes. The ghetto bitches on the train who think that the whole world revolves around them. You have the rats that your cats decide to start playing with as soon as you come home with a major headache. And then, of course, you have the theater. Finally, Spamalot tickets are discounted and Scott and I are now going to see it on June 27. I've been wanting to see this as soon as it hit Broadway but the tickets were either sold out or WAY too expensive-try close to $300 for 2 people to go. At least now, I can get them for about half that amount and I just hope that it's worth it after the ordeal I just went through in searching for tickets.

What's worse?

Having a detailed dream about speaking with your spouse who you are going through a divorce with and actually seeing them understand that their actions started the whole ruined marriage? Or waking up realizing that you will never have that opportunity to see them actual understand and take responsibility face to face?

A Big Friendly Wave to.....

my fellow coworkers who continue to check this blog. Please no fear of me saying who you are..you all know who you are! Just letting you know that I see you! :-) Hope you're all doing well with me being away. Give all of your animals extra hugs from Aunt Jen.

Another lonely night :-(

Well, Scott is stuck working late. And I'm by myself (with the exception of the royal family). I just made a really good dinner-Thai Chicken Pizza (from Rachel Ray's newest cookbook). Too bad Scott wasn't able to join me in my cooking adventure tonight. Luckily there is some leftover so he can have it for lunch tomorrow. Too bad I don't have a microwave at work or I would bring some in too.
Good thing that I have Fame: Season 1 on DVD-that's what has been saving me for the last night and tonight. Brings back several memories of watching this on television. Last year I went to see Fame on Broadway and was slightly disappointed. KInda hard to put a 4 years in a 2 hour musical. The music was decent but it moved too quickly before the next year was there. I also don't remember Leroy being such a punk.

Monday oh Monday

Yup. It's Monday. Another day, another dollar. Same shit, different day. Let's see what other sayings can I use?
I'm off to work-which will be a few meetings today. That's my life now-meetings and I don't mind it-certainly beats dealing with the emotional chaos that I had to deal with before. But I'm still not in my office space and hopefully I will be soon.
Scott came home safe and sound last night but was distant-probably trying to let me sleep. So now I get the pleasure of hanging around until I have to leave to meet up with a coworker for the first meeting.

Boredom equals lonely?

It's 4pm and I'm sitting here watching Law and Order on the USA Network-bored out of my mind. I did manage to get the grocery shopping done and all of my reviews that were due. The royal family is all sleeping and I'm bored. I watched the South Pacific and I'm bored. Now some of you might be wondering...well do something with Scott. Wish I could but he's at a friend's wedding in CT. He went up just for the day and will be coming home later tonight-probably in the middle of the nasty thunderstorm that we're supposed to be getting. So I'm bored. I could keep watchiing Law and Order. I could work on the current cross-stitch project that I've been working on. I could unpack some more books. I could clean. Or I could just stay bored.

A Big Friendly Wave to.....

Western NY! Hi to ya. Hope the kids are well. Hope that you haven't killed the husband yet. Feel free to post a comment if you want (I changed things so you can).

Work

Some of you regular viewers might be wondering why I haven't been bitching about my job lately. I've decided to take the one day at a time approach and know that I will get the last laugh regardless of what happens. I'm now in a new office, read not mine. Luckily it's only for a short time.

What's so different now?

Scott and I got into a conversation last night regarding cheating and what we feel is qualifying as cheating. Afterwords, I sat and thought that I really have no desire to be with any other person. I looked at Scott and asked what is it about him? In most of my other relationships, I've cheated. And certainly within the 9 month mark which Scott and I are quickly approaching. Is it because I've decided to grow up? Is it because Scott tries and usually succeeds in treating me the way I should be treated? Is it because I am truly experiencing love and everything that comes with it? Most of my other relationships I've been tired of them and am trying to figure out how to get rid of them. I'm usually starting fights for no reason...daily fights. Others, I've put so much of myself into the relationship and then get burned badly. Then I get to thinking that last year after the last major incident with Jeremy, I decided to start fresh. I went out with a couple of guys and realized that they weren't it for me...until I met Scott. With Scott, things are different. I'm relaxed when I'm home. I am truly happy being with Scott. Being with him has opened up my eyes to possibilities that I never thought were for me. I have had faith of love reinstilled into me-something which I thought was impossible after marrying my best friend and losing him almost as quickly as I met him.

Birthday Review part deux

My official birthday present from Scott was done last night-Scott had gotten tickets to see Tarzan on Broadway. Despite the cramped seats and the amount of children at the show, I enjoyed myself. Even Scott, who isn't a fan of musicals, chuckled a few times throughout the show. I'm a fan of Phil Collins and was looking forward to hearing his new songs for the musical. Most of the songs had that Phil touch to it and to me, they were obvious. Josh Strickland, former American Idol finalist, played Tarzan and I was very impressed with his voice. The actor who played Turk stole away the show with his antics and singing, however, I kept thinking about Rosie O'Donnell, who played Turk in Disney's cartoon movie. Overall it was an enjoyable show. Not the best musical I've seen nor the worse. So thanks Scott for purchasing these tickets all those months ago.

My Birthday Review

I thought that I would not only expand my review of Live but my birthday overall. First, I want to thank Scott again for taking the day off and spending it with me. Second, thanks to the soon to be ex-husband for not contacting me on my day and for going back to court. Now for the review....
Scott and I started it all off lazily and took our time before we headed out to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. We went to the gardens so I could smell the lilacs-my favorite flower. We spent some time in the gardens reflecting on us, our pasts, and looked to our future. It started sprinkle so instead of chancing the rain at the Brooklyn Zoo, we headed for home to relax before we headed out to dinner. At 4, we went to the subway and headed to Hell's Kitchen. We ate dinner at a Mexican restaurant called Arriba, Arriba! The food was decent-not as good as Don's or Boom Boom's (the Great New York State Fair) but decent enough. The wait staff, all good looking gay men, were attentive. The strawberry colada was too strong. The artwork a little graphic. The company definitely the best. After dinner, we headed to the Nokia Theater in Times Square to go see Live. I was a little surprised that the doors were already opened at 6:15 but hey, we went in, bought our tour t-shirts, grabbed our seats and listened to the cued up music. We were wondering why some of the artists like Tool and some other harder rock groups, were being played since neither one of us considers Live to be that hard rock. By the end of the first song performed by Live, we both understood. At 8pm, Michael Shapiro started things off. And as for opening acts that I've seen, he wasn't the worst and wasn't the best. I kept thinking New York City is a hard place to play for especially when he kept begging people to applaud him. Luckily, after the standard 45 minutes, he left the stage and everyone waited for Live to come on stage. At about 9:25pm, Live was there. Live was rocking. I felt that they played a good assortment of their songs from their albums except for V. They certainly played all of my favorites. I had been wanting them to play a few certain songs and every time I mentioned one of them to Scott, Ed and the boys would then be playing it in a couple of songs later. This was certainly true with Shit Towne. I'm still on a slight high from the show with different songs in my head but definitely more on the downside from the overall high of my 30th birthday. Overall, Live was totally awesome and I cannot wait until their album comes out AND they return to the Big Apple. As Scott and I were heading home with about 30 minutes left of my day, I stated that I don't know how any other birthday will be able to surpass my 30th. So next year, I get a chocolate cupcake (please not Hostess) with a candle.
Of course, I'm still trying to have my birthday last a little bit longer. Friday, I received my presents from my parents. Tuesday, Scott and I are going to see Tarzan. I still haven't received my present(s) from my brother.
So again thanks to Scott for helping me turn 30 and spending the best birthday with me.

Politics anyone?

You are a Social Conservative (36% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (26% permissive) You are best described as a: Totalitarian Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Concert

Live was FUCKING awesome. Probably the best performance that I've seen of them so far. More details after I get some sleep.

Happy Birthday to me

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday Dear Jeeeeeennnnnnn
Happy Birthday to me

Yes. It's official. I have entered another decade. I woke up in a good mood. And so far it's lasting. Probably because I know that I'm going to have a good dinner with Scott and then I'm seeing Live!!!!!!! Plus I don't have to deal with the bullshit of work.

My last day of being 29

With just a few more hours left of my last day of being 29 and so far so good. Today I was taken out to lunch by my coworkers and even though they tried to keep it a surprise, I did end up finding out what was going on but still had a good time. One of my coworkers was asking me if there was anything that I haven't done in my 20's or anything that I need to say and I was pretty much like no, I've done my time, made my mistakes, learned my lessons. I do find it surprising that just 10 years ago I was a junior in college and involved with Mike, dealing with double majoring, etc. To think that I've been engaged a few times, married, 3 different jobs, going through a divorce, no kids, suicide, losing friends, gaining and regaining old friends, years filled of yelling. Now that I'm leaving my 20's, I look to my 30's and what my future will hold. I have what I would like to have happen (marrying again, kids, move out of NYC, new job, etc). So I raise my glass to my 20's and thank them and drink to my 30's.

Stupid anonymous viewer

Obviously one doesn't understand when I state-don't bother posting about MY read that MY life. I'm not sitting here posting about anybody else. I write here for me. So DONNA or JEREMY, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE. Obviously I don't want anything to do with you. Jeremy-all I want is the divorce and for that stress in my life to be over and you know the reasons why. Donna-just leave me the hell alone. I don't have anything that you want. I don't have anything that you need. I certainly don't want or need anything from you.
So thanks to the stupid anonymous viewer who cannot read or even better yet, RESPECT my wish to not have anonymous posts only registered people can now post.
So with that, Jeremy, let me know what's up and then stop viewing my blog. You don't need to know what's going on with my life. You lost that opportunity last year. Move on with your life and stop looking back. I've moved on. I've been disappointed enough by you and I don't need the constant reminder of failure in my life.

Anonymous posts

If you can't have the balls to make your presence known, then don't bother wasting your 2 cents of comments about MY life.

3 more days

until I turn the big 30. I'm looking forward to seeing Live. I have a funny feeling that Jeremy will wait until my birthday to go back to court-I'm hoping that he doesn't and actually goes before hand. Then...I'm closer to being free and officially out of the fucking circle/square that I've been in for the last several years. After the divorce is final, I want ABSOLUTELY nothing from Jeremy. I don't want him posting on my blog. I don't want him even looking at it. I don't want the emails. I don't want the text messages. It's all bad reminders of what failed. So soon, hopefully soon. Of course, it could have been played out differently if certain things had happened last summer but choices were made and now the consequences. With everything else going on in my life, I don't need the stress of interference. So all I want is to know when he's gone back to court and when the whole thing is finally finished.
Back to the big 30. Another day, another decade of life complete. Time of reflection of my 20's (whoa nelly) and a look to my future (big smiles). And, of course, Live!

Mixed emotions day

Well, after hounding Jeremy for several months and even trying to look into getting his case dismissed, he actually responded and scanned copies of papers for the divorce. He also told me that he's going to go back to court next week to put in the rest of the papers so our divorce will be finalized. Now for the mixed emotions. I did once love this man and would have and did do everything possible to make our lives work. I even was the one that asked him to marry me. Unfortunately, he lied and betrayed me, hence the reasons why I moved out. That's the short of it. We even tried to make it work just a year ago. In about 2 weeks, will be the anniversary of where he threw his wedding band at me and screamed that our marriage was really over after me wanting to spend quality time with him and the cunt continually interrupting. At one point in our lives, we would talk on the phone for hours and hours. We never wanted to be apart. Exactly where did it go wrong? Was it when we first moved out of Mother Dear's and into a cramped small apartment and I couldn't deal with his mess? Was it one of the several other times we decided to get back together behind others' backs? In the back of my head, I always knew that he would end up with the cunt but I always wanted to defy fate. So this closure, as much as it is needed and wanted so I can move on with my life, it still hurts to think that I lost my best friend to lies and betrayals.
And now I'm alone with my thoughts as Scott went to play games, which was planned earlier on this week. Unfortunately, I don't know when he's coming home and he's talking about staying out late. I could really use some cuddle time with him. The situation with Jeremy has put my relationship with Scott into perspective. I am now with a man who loves me and that I love wholeheartedly. I don't need to lie to him. I don't feel like I'm being betrayed or being lied to. I don't need to have day after day, week after week, month after month of yelling and screaming. i don't even need an hour. One of Scott's friends stated that we are so stupidly in love. Yes, I am in love with Scott and again, I am so thankful that he is in my life. He challenges me and my ways of dealing with conflict. He shows me appreciation. He tries to make sure that I'm happy. I have not had one suicidal thought since I've been with Scott-an amazing feat considering that since I was about 12, I've always wanted to die. I now have reasons to smile. I want to do the little things for him like make sure that he eats a healthy dinner and rub his sore back and neck. I like looking forward to him coming home every night. I enjoy just sitting on the couch with him and just resting in his arms. So despite the drama with Jeremy, I'm know that I have a rock at home in Scott.

Body testing

How good are you with the human senses?

Princess Bride

Which Princess Bride Character Are You?
I'm Miracle Max
"Have fun storming the castle!"

Personal day

I took today off to take care of business. Unfortunately, I had to take the day off since I'm not going to my office space yet so...I get the pleasure of going back to court and file for divorce since Jeremy continues to be lazy son of a bitch and not finish what he started-at least it isn't on the NYS Court website. Then I'm actually going to go and check out the office space and visit the ladies that work there. Tonight, Scott and I are going to go to a Mets game. Yes, I'm actually going to another Mets game. It was a deal that Scott and I made-I go to a Mets game, he goes to a Yankees game.