Loved?

Am I meant to be loved the way I think I deserve?
Do I ask for that much?
A simple check-in when I'm upset
A flower every once in a while
A simple hug and kiss
A simple how are you or how was your day
What the hell is wrong with me that I cannot get simple things?
People then wonder why when I need something or someone, I don't speak up.
I give and give and give or at least try to
And where has it gotten me in the past?
In a broken marriage
A life full of trying hard to trust
Depression
Suicide
ER visits
Anger
Misery
But yet I still continue to try to give myself
In hope of getting the love that I think I deserve
What to do now?