9/11

I think that about now was the time I was coming home 5 years ago after getting my 9:30am physical done for my employment. It's hard to believe that 9/11 happened 5 years ago. I still continue to think what ifs about that time. I was supposed to have originally gotten married to Sal on May 19, 2001. If I had, would I have left my job at the end of August? The job which was about 3 blocks away from the towers. I know that if I hadn't quit my job, I would have been there when the planes hit and would have been in the rubble, because I would have been in shock and wouldn't necessarily have moved out of the way of the towers when they collapsed. What if I didn't resign from my job at the end of August and waited until HR contacted me regarding my new position? Would I have been there that faithful morning or would I have been getting a physical done? Would I be alive or would I be among the remains because I was trying to help?
Even though I'm not a huge believer in God or whatever is looking over us, I do feel that something was looking over me when I put in my resignation and took me away from downtown.
Looking back at 9/11 and trying to escape Manhattan, I remember attempting to call my parents and once I did, all I told my mother was that I was fine and I would call her later. I attempted to call my roommate/boyfriend Shondu who worked near Union Square and saw it happen to let him know that I was on my way to him. His end of the conversation was, especially after walking about 30 blocks was for me to head home. I lived in the Bronx then. So back uptown it was-people walking in the streets, helping others, and no violence. I finally made it to the Metro-North, which happen to free under the circumstances, and made it to a stop near my house, then I took the bus. Once I got home, I was anxiously awaiting Shondu's return home as the subways were barely working. I watched the news and just remembered that when I was waiting for the doctor and heard about the first plane, I knew immediately that it was a terrorist act.
To all of the EMS, FDNY, NYPD and everyone else who gave their lives or their spare time on that day and following to help NYC rebuild, I thank you.