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The Past

It seems that ever since Scott told me that he was getting married, I've been learning more and more about what has happened to my exes. Jeremy (ex-husband) just celebrated the one year mark of his daughter's birth. Sal (ex-fiance) just got married this summer. Mike (college sweetheart) finally married the woman that he was with when we broke up 10 years ago. There are still a couple of men I'm curious about but those 3 have been the major relationships in my adult life. I'm genuinely happy for all of them and I sincerely wish them all the luck and happiness in the world.

Einstein Quote (thanks Scott)

"To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself."

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Weight Loss Update

Down 2.2 for a total of 10.6. Guess the beers I had last night didn't affect my weigh-in!

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I Survived My First Heavy Metal Show

Last night, Joey and I went to see his favorite metal band, Opeth at Lincoln Theater. Joey had introduced me to their music back in January when we met. They are much harder than let's say, Metallica and much more musically talented. I can understand and appreciate their musical talent.
So, as a concert goer and never having been to a true metal show, I was slightly nervous. Mob pits, body surfing, just people being stupid. Luckily, the way that the theater is set up, there is an upstairs where people who don't want to be injured can enjoy the show...that's where Joey and I were. Baroness was the first opening band and I enjoyed them a lot. They were more instrumental than demonic screaming. High on Fire came on next. Much too much screaming for my enjoyment but the crowd was into it.
Now let me take a moment and describe this crowd. Actually let me take you back to 1993 when I met Ken and had my first exposure to a true hard rock/metal fan. Ken has the long hair, "rough" look to him. Most of the crowd were male...a lot of unshaved men. I don't think that I had seen so many beards, and long beards at that, in one spot. I have to admit, I did have some redneck comments running through my head. And they ranged in age from under 21 to 40's. From my vantage point, I think that I spent about half the show watching waves of people as they were being pushed about. Every once in a while a mob pit would open up-wonder how those guys are feeling this morning. At times, it looked like people were going to fight. You know, the non mob pit participants vs the mob pit idiots. There were some people body surfing. More women than men which I was a little surprised at. No one was dropped on their heads which it looked like it would happen soon. Idiots.
Anyway, Opeth, after a very long technical set-up (mikes weren't working), came on. I have to say, I was impressed. I had recognized most of the songs that were played thanks to Joey. The skills that these men have...quite amazing. To play as fast as they do, it's not an easy task.
So with that, I survived and off to my regular life.

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The NC State Fair

I guess I've been spoiled by The Great New York State Fair because I was disappointed in NC's State Fair. Julie, Joey and I were done with it in about 2 hours. We don't do rides so we saved money and time. There were a lot of similar things between both State Fairs but NY is just on a much grander scale. Still ate some good kettle corn though.

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Happy Dance from last week

I completed this while watching football last Sunday.

Made Me Smile

Weight Loss Update

And the losing continues....down 1.6 for the week. Guess all that walking helped! Now if I could only get some damn sleep.

So What's Wrong with Me?

Scott gave me some news yesterday...he's engaged...to a woman he's only been dating a few months....the same time frame when we had first started talking about us getting married....and look what happened to us. I'm trying my best to be happy for him. He's a good guy and deserves to be happy but wtf is wrong with me that we couldn't have taken it the next level? It's not that we hadn't discussed it. We had. We spoke about the where, kinda the when and it just didn't happen. We had spoken about leaving the City and moving out West. Never happened. It hurts to see the man that I left not even a year ago be engaged to someone he's only known a few months. Makes me feel that our almost 2-year relationship was for nothing. I know Scott will read this and tell me that the relationship wasn't for nothing. Scott, I know this. I know that you have appreciated and still appreciate me in your life. His sister and sister-in-law continue to send me pictures of their kids. I love seeing them but at the same time it hurts because I miss them and wish that I could see them in person to give them the hugs that I want to give them.
And then things have been rocky with Joey and I lately. And from both of them, I've always heard that it's not me, it's them type of thing. Well, what the hell. If it's not me, then why do I keep going through this crap?
So I'm through with 2008. This has been such a shitty year. It seems like anytime something was starting to go my way, something else just falls apart. How I've managed to not become severely depressed or suicidal, I'll never understand because that's what the old Jen would have done. As I told Scott yesterday, 2008 has been a shitty cake and his news was the icing on top of it. So can we just fast forward the calendar to 2009 and hope that it's a helluva lot better than 2008?

My First Day

It went well. It was good to be with my friend all day like we used to be. The job doesn't seem too bad...of course, it would be nice to be able to log into all the computer programs I'll need...maybe today. I'm not crazy about the shift but that's okay. I'll adjust and it could always be a lot worse.

And So it Begins

Another new day at a new job. At least the one I'm starting today, I know most of the people that work there. I am pretty excited since I'll be working directly with one of my friends and I won't have to be driving all around the county seeing families.

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A Place that I've Always Wanted to Go.

Einstein Quote

"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions."

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Weightloss Update

No loss and no gain. And I'm okay with that. I know that it comes with the territory and it will be okay. I'll be starting exercising this week once I start my new job on Wednesday.

Another weekend

And I only have 2 more days at my yucky job...unfortunately I'm on call all weekend. Keep your fingers crossed that the phone doesn't ring.
Anyone have any big plans out there? I'll be going to Weight Watchers and then visiting a family for one last visit. Tomorrow is NFL. I'm up against Scott in fantasy football...should be an interesting match-up.

My Malibu is Officially History

Finally....almost 10 months after my accident...I got a check for my car...after my lienholder was paid off...so the check isn't big...but my Malibu situation is now officially over and done with. No more car payments for that car. Woohoo!

Writings

I seem to be at a huge roadblock in my writings. I haven't been able to focus on it and then when I do make an attempt, it's crap. This, of course, does not help with my dealing of motivation to actually attempt to get published and preparing for rejections. I know that I wouldn't be that lucky to have something get published its first go around. I've had the perfect opportunity to get some writing done this summer when I've been unemployed and just never took advantage of it. I think now I'm just so frustrated with a lot of things, even though a lot of it is turning around, that I just don't have the mojo to get things accomplished. Depression? I'm not there even though tis' the season. I'm sure that I'll get something accomplished sooner than later...just wish it was already done...now where's that magic wand?

Frustrations abound

Am I really doing something wrong here? Did I do something wrong in moving to NC? It seems that ever since I moved out of NY, my life has been chaotic. Maybe karma is finally biting my ass for what I did...and I accept that but damn...enough is enough. If I haven't done anything, why must I get the blunt of everything? I accept and I get screamed at. Understand that I'm going through a lot right now and I'm trying...just like you. Maybe in a couple of weeks, I'll be better. But damn....stop it already.

Happy Dance

I finished this latch hook while watching football yesterday. It is for sale. Please click on the link for my blog on the side bar if you're interested. Thanks.

Road Trip anyone?

The success continues...

I had another successful weigh-in this morning. Down 2.6 for a total of 6.8 for my first 2 weeks back at Weight Watchers.
Hopefully, I'll be finishing a latch hook project this weekend. I'll be posting it on my selling blog once it is finished. So if you like Peanuts and Winter, think about it.....

Things are looking up...finally

First, I have a new job. I had an interview with someone that I used to work with when I had that temp job and she offered me a position...I start the 15th. It felt so good to hand in my resignation yesterday.
Second, hopefully, my car/insurance situation-the one that I was in the accident in, is being taken care of. The accident was in January...and it's NOW being finalized.

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