Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Unhappiness

That's basically how I've been feeling lately. Not everything in my life is going poorly either. I do have a stable job which is crucial with the way that the world is at this time. I have some decent friends who are there if and when I need them. However, my financial situation continues to suck and I can't find a part-time job to help me out. I don't have enough money to even attempt to play the lottery. My relationship with Joey is basically just a strong friendship. He does his thing. I do mine. And that's fine. I'm figuring that come March, we will no longer be living together unless we both are continuing to struggle financially. I've come across a lot of what if's out there and even though I try REALLY hard to try not to think about them, they still keep coming up. They range from relationships/friendships to if I had never even moved to NC. And trying to fathom the idea of where the hell I'm going come March is making me feel anxious.
Life as an adult sucks sometimes but I'm also one of those people that NEVER EVER want to go back to childhood or adolescence. I don't have a life full of regrets. Just some what if's and unhappiness.

2 comments:

Dani - tkdchick said...

Jen, I'm sorry to hear you're struggling right now, emotionally and that you're not happy. What's happening in March that's going to change everything? Or is it just a self-imposed deadline you set for yourself or some event to happen by?

Take a moment to find a little joy in your stitching or a pet your worries will be right where you left them when you're done.

Julie said...

Hey Jen, my lease is up at the end of March, and I don't know what's going to happen then either. Maybe, if you wanted to move back to NY, we could coordinate something?

Hugs to you!