A big friendly wave to

NJ! Hope you're enjoying your 5 minute commute! :-) I'm about to head out to my first 1.5 hours of the day!

Looking at one's past

What joy can someone have when they continually look to see what their past is doing? Are they thinking, damn that could have been me? Are they afraid that a big secret will be disclosed? Are they waiting for the fuck up so they can jump in? I can understand sitting by yourself reflecting back and looking at the mistakes, or not mistakes, and think about where you are now but to some, give it up. Is it that important to continually look, think, reflect? Some pasts want to stay just that-the past, not the present, certainly not the future. Some just want that chapter of their lives closed and remained closed. Some are just trying to finish those chapters to move onto the next.

This weekend

Saturday was one of those days where you just didn't want to leave the house let alone really get out of bed. We chilled out, played video games and bored games. Just a very relaxing day. Sunday was a rainy miserable day where we had to get groceries in preparation for Monopoly/Retro Game day. Despite snacks didn't all turn out how I wanted, the games were fun and I think that all that attended had a good time. It was interesting playing and setting this day up with "gamers." The people who play several types of games and usually have their social lives incorporated with games in some fashion. Not necessarily nerds or geeks (even there is a website for boardgamers called boardgame geek) but people who just love games. My favorite game, Monopoly, has been frowned upon by gamers because of the "house" rules. So the main point of Sunday was to show these gamers that Monopoly can be a fun game when played by the rules that are in the rulebook-no house games allowed. I think that the point was made despite some gamers not wanting to participate-which is fine. More Monopoly for me then! Last summer I had played Monopoly several times (at least 20) with just one other person so it was interesting to play with 4. Unfortunately, I lost the two games that were played but still had a good time-even with Scott spanking my ass in the first one-damn orange brownstone on Greenwich Village!!!!!! (played NYC edition).
Today was back to work and even though I had to make a wasted trip to Manhattan, reconnecting with my friends from my previous position was good.

Saturday

and 19 days and counting until I see Live!!!! Oh yeah, and my birthday. Luckily yesterday I had a nice quiet day at work and no eventful commute home. Good way to end the week. I'm also feeling better. Which is a bonus. Now if only my damned husband would do what he should have done months ago....Now I'm busy watching Scott roll up shit (Katamari). I think that I'm going to go ahead and make some bread.
Tomorrow is Monopoly/retro game day and I'm looking forward to playing Monopoly again. After playing it several times (around 20) last summer, I've missed playing it and it should be interesting playing it with the people that are attending.
I've managed to finish a craft project this week. Now I have to start a new one in time for a certain day and find a frame for my last one. Oh and finish up Scott's anklet. Ta ta for now

The joys of the FUCKING commute

Now for my regular readers, you know that I have a 3 hour total commute, when the trains want to run properly, every day until I don't know when. So today, I tried to take a different commute, one with more express trains, and it took me almost 2 fucking hours to get home. First, on the first local, the one where I don't have any choice but to take, a sick passenger was on board and it wasn't at a stop where I could switch trains. Luckily, it took EMS about 4 minutes, yes I counted, to get the passenger off the train. Then I changed to an express train, one where they're doing track work so it's a little delayed-I figured that I would still be okay-yeah right. So then I get off in Brooklyn and wait and wait for one of the two trains that stops on my stop. I get on the the first one, happens to be an express, but it's crowded. I still get on and wouldn't you know, there are some people taking up too much room and ones with huge bags on their shoulder. Guess who I got to stand next to? A woman who has no concept of how much space she's taking up with her damn bag that was rubbing against me and another woman. Now when I stand, I barely move, and this damn woman had the nerve to say at one point how I was rubbing up against her. Now....if she didn't have the damn bag in the way, I wouldn't have to keep pushing it out of the way and then she wouldn't have to move into me.
This coming on a day where I'm trying to still get over my illness and I hear news about work that has totally pissed me off (read that one and you know who you are).
So now as I try to calm down and relax, I'm rushed to eat and put in a movie before Survivor. I guess for my sanity, it's a good thing that Scott isn't coming immediately home-gives me some time to cool down and not accidentially take out my frustration on him. So now onto The Fox and the Hound.

getting worse

I've been up pretty much all night with bad stomach pains-enough that I woke up to almost vomiting in bed. Not a good feeling. I still feel horrible but at least I have the royal family and food network to keep me company. I can't figure out where or why I'm getting sick. It could be due to medication that I'm taking. It could just be something going around but I just feel yucky. Scott was sweet though-got me beautiful flowers yesterday and made sure that I got to bed last night. He's also offered to cancel his gaming plans tonight if I need him home. Hopefully I won't but if these stomach pains don't stop, and my head doesn't stop throbbing, I don't know what will happen.

Being sick

Can't get enough comfort
Change meds?
Just want to be able to sleep the pain away
No matter what is done, it's never enough
Want a massage to help erase some of the pain
Knowing that that won't be good enough
Medication the cause?
Medication the cure?

Sick again

I'm sick again and each day I'm feeling worse and worse. Aches, pains, fevers, etc. Fun oh fun
Plus the ghosts continue to haunt
Plus I still hate my commute
Plus my husband is still a lazy bastard-hope his cunt of a girlfriend understands what the fuck she got herself into

Easter weekend

Barely means anything to me these days. Being raised Catholic, it should mean something, but it doesn't. The commerialism means more to me than the actually religious reasons do. I do have fond memories of Easter Sunday mornings where Jim (my brother) and I searched for Easter eggs, making Easter eggs, and candy baskets. One year, my parents got me a 6-pack of Snickers and hid each individual bar for me to find. I had one boyfriend give me a huge Easter basket filled with all of my favorites, just because he knew I would appreciate it, and I did. This year will probably be quiet, which is fine. No hidden eggs. No baskets filled to the brim with chocolate and black jellybeans. At least the candy will be on sale tomorrow so I can pick it up cheap.

Commuting

Well, I got some rather bothersome news today. I'll be continuing to do my total of 3 hours commuting until I don't know when. Needless to say I'm pissed off about it. The space where my office will eventually be is opening next week and instead of assisting the people that I'm sharing space with, I'm stuck going up to the Bronx. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I'm not a supervisor. . Plus this 3 hour daily commute is really running me down. We shall see what will happen.

Sunday

Just another quiet Sunday where Scott is gaming. We did get to spend some time this morning after I returned from my exercise walk in Prospect Park. We went to get breakfast and even though we didn't end up exactly where Scott wanted to go, we did manage to get some decent breakfast sandwiches. I returned home to the royal family and managed to get some DVD watching done, video game playing done, and even some needlepoint done. So even at 4pm, I guess it's been a pretty decent and quiet day. Even better is that I'm not freezing like I was before.

writing

Well, I've made a little progress on trying to get some writing out there in the world. I've been working on a short story and I went through several websites to get guidelines for submissions. So at least I have steps being taken unlike before.

mmmm

dark chocolate Toblerone

Haven't had much to say

Not much as been going on with my life. Scott and I are still doing great. Even though I'm insanely jealous of him being on jury duty. I'm home sick right now and watching Tiger play with a toy mouse. Work is there-still have the insane commute and not happy that my specific role will not be starting for a couple of more months. The last to be developed in fact. So even though I'm enjoying not running around with my head cut off, I still wish that I could be doing what I signed on for.
I'm still totally psyched about my birthday. Not a day has gone by where I haven't said to myself that I'm going to see Live on my birthday-just totally rocks. I continue to torture Scott with Rachel Ray at 6pm but then we get to "listen to Scott yell at the television" at 7 (jeopardy). I say it in jest but I really enjoy learning that Scott has lots of things up in that brain of his. Reinforces that I made a great choice in Scott. I have been trying to help both Scott and I with doing some low fat cooking for dinner. I've been enjoying what I've made so far and it seems that Scott also has been enjoying it. Certainly beats having the same old thing day after day, week after week.

Jury Duty

Why is it that I'm never one of the lucky ones that gets to be chosen for jury duty? I was called back in February and got the pleasure of sitting there doing nothing. Scott goes today and gets chosen to sit on a jury. Some people have all the luck. Is it because I'm a big Law and Order and forensic fan? Oh well, maybe in 6 years I'll be picked.
The good thing is that I don't have to wait for Scott to get home in order to start dinner. Maybe I'll be able to convince him to cook a dinner this week! :-)

Ghosts

They keeping popping up where they are not wanted or where they do not belong. Some just linger quietly peeking at a life that has absolutely nothing to do with them anymore. Others become more involved and actually makes requests. Funny, when those requests are stated-they still don't respond appropriately. All ghosts seem to want to have a hand in where my life is concerned. All I can continue to do is ask for all of the ghosts to go bury themselves and stay buried. None of you are wanted. None of you are certainly needed. Just go float away and haunt somewhere else.

Oz

Finally finishing up the 3rd season of this HBO series. Now I have to obtain the rest of the seasons. I already have the 1st and 2nd. The 3rd season dealt with racism a lot more than the previous 2 seasons-something that was inevitable given the dynamics of the casting and the division of internal groups. I'm a big fan of the series and only wished that Scott enjoyed it as much as I do. To each their own. Next will be the 5th season of the West Wing that I borrowed from Ramon.

It's official

On 2 levels-

I received the Live tickets yesterday in the mail-Woo hoo! It also was reinforced when Scott and I went to the Hard Rock yesterday and unplugged version of Lightening Crashes played.

I have legal proof that my husband is the biggest laziest son of a bitch, mother fucker that I have ever known. Because he continues to refuse to speak to me about our divorce, I went to check to see if I could file and what the status was. Unfortunately, I cannot do anything since he still has about 2 more weeks to serve me and because he's just a dumbass and hasn't done it I have to sit and wait. Luckily for me, my new office space should be opening soon and I'll be able to handle it duriing lunch instead of taking a whole day off to get this situation corrected quickly. Fucking son of a bitch.