Life continues to go on

Despite seeing things that I shouldn't see. Know things that I shouldn't know. Get reinforcement about certain people being more and more untrustworthy.
It's amazing how you ask that certain parts of your life are not told to others, in particular, people who are lying cheating sluts who have never been known to keep their mouths shut and don't need to know anything about your life and you find out that something that you told about your health is blurted to the whole world. If I wanted my health to be told to the whole world, I would have done it here or told the people that I knew would spread it around like wildfire. Of course, an apology from the fucking stupid coward would be great-luckily I know I won't be getting a genuine one-especially not after all of these years of going through hell and back.
On the good side, supposedly Jeremy is going back to court today to turn in the rest of the papers so hopefully this divorce will be finished soon...very soon.
Hopefully the guys who were supposed to be here 50 minutes ago show up soon to finish the walls of my apartment. At least I have The West Wing to keep me company (thanks Ramon).

A Big Friendly Wave to...

The department of education of New York City-hope that you're getting some stuff done despite the craziness of this morning-and guess what! They're still at lunch.

Life or whatever

Well, currently the apartment which Scott, the royal family and I call home is being revamped due to some beautiful leakage problems. Scott had been having problems with leak problems long before I moved in. Unfortunately, I was never told about them. So imagine my surprise last week when I came home, checking on Jul, and see that part of the ceiling in the office had fallen onto the bed. I immediately called Scott who then informed me of previous leaks. Needless to say, I don't need the added chaos. So today, Scott calls me and tells me that they are here and are going to start fixing it today. One catch being that they will be fixing about 3 rooms and a doorway. The other catch being that he's needed at work and if he doesn't go in, it will be more stress and chaos on him-something that I don't want to deal with-not that I necessarily mind dealing with his tiredness, etc-I'll just try anything to avoid it as much as possible. Anyway, so thanks to the bestest boss lady in the world (with, of course, some of the cutest animals) I'm here so Scott can go to work. Now let me tell you how upsetting it is to come home and find your walls being torn down. The place to which you lay your head down at night. The place where you try to find serenity and peace especially after dealing with the NYC chaos. At least the guys that are working seem to be nice and they make me want to practice my Spanish on them but I won't.

issues

If you are consistantly looking at my blog to see your past-please stop. All you are doing is adding stress to my life. Just do what you need to do. Let me know whether OR NOT you've done it. Then leave me alone. Completely leave me alone.

Literature testing

The Librarian You scored 63 erudition!

Congratulations! You're well above average when it comes to your knowledge of English grammar, history, and literature. You may have missed a few questions, but if you keep your studies up and stay away from genre fiction, we'll have you ready for Stanford in no time! Who knows, we just might be reading your columns in Talk of the Town a few years from now.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 15% on erudition

Link: The Are You Truly Erudite? Test written by okellelala on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

It's obvious

that as hopefully my finalization of my divorce is approaching, I'm getting more and more anxious about it. I'm having dreams about it on a weekly basis and getting more and more frustrated by not getting any answers from Jeremy in regards to him actually returning to court now that he has my documents. Some of the dreams are just about the papers. Some of them actually deal with facing Jeremy. Hard to believe that only a relatively short time ago, I had my best friend at my side and now it's over. For any of you that want to hear this, cherish the person that you are with. Make sure that they know that you love them and are committed to them and are willing to work out whatever difficulties that you two will face.

Memorial Day weekend

So what are your plans for the 3 day weekend? Will you at least take a moment on Monday to pay respect for our fallen soldiers? Will you break out the grill and cook the summer favorites? Will you head to the beach to enjoy the sun and sand? Will you just be thankful that summer is fast approaching or will you be wanting the cooler temperatures to come back?
I don't have many plans for this weekend. I'm sure that I will take a moment to think about my grandfathers who both fought in WWII. There's talk about gaming but I feel that if there has been no motivation all week to do anything, why should the weekend be any different? I definitely won't be heading to the beach-too many people and as for the temperatures-I'm mixed-why can't it just remain Spring like temperatures? I'm just thankful that I have a 3-day weekend.

Living in the Big Apple

Oh the joys. You have the commutes. The ghetto bitches on the train who think that the whole world revolves around them. You have the rats that your cats decide to start playing with as soon as you come home with a major headache. And then, of course, you have the theater. Finally, Spamalot tickets are discounted and Scott and I are now going to see it on June 27. I've been wanting to see this as soon as it hit Broadway but the tickets were either sold out or WAY too expensive-try close to $300 for 2 people to go. At least now, I can get them for about half that amount and I just hope that it's worth it after the ordeal I just went through in searching for tickets.

What's worse?

Having a detailed dream about speaking with your spouse who you are going through a divorce with and actually seeing them understand that their actions started the whole ruined marriage? Or waking up realizing that you will never have that opportunity to see them actual understand and take responsibility face to face?

A Big Friendly Wave to.....

my fellow coworkers who continue to check this blog. Please no fear of me saying who you are..you all know who you are! Just letting you know that I see you! :-) Hope you're all doing well with me being away. Give all of your animals extra hugs from Aunt Jen.

Another lonely night :-(

Well, Scott is stuck working late. And I'm by myself (with the exception of the royal family). I just made a really good dinner-Thai Chicken Pizza (from Rachel Ray's newest cookbook). Too bad Scott wasn't able to join me in my cooking adventure tonight. Luckily there is some leftover so he can have it for lunch tomorrow. Too bad I don't have a microwave at work or I would bring some in too.
Good thing that I have Fame: Season 1 on DVD-that's what has been saving me for the last night and tonight. Brings back several memories of watching this on television. Last year I went to see Fame on Broadway and was slightly disappointed. KInda hard to put a 4 years in a 2 hour musical. The music was decent but it moved too quickly before the next year was there. I also don't remember Leroy being such a punk.

Monday oh Monday

Yup. It's Monday. Another day, another dollar. Same shit, different day. Let's see what other sayings can I use?
I'm off to work-which will be a few meetings today. That's my life now-meetings and I don't mind it-certainly beats dealing with the emotional chaos that I had to deal with before. But I'm still not in my office space and hopefully I will be soon.
Scott came home safe and sound last night but was distant-probably trying to let me sleep. So now I get the pleasure of hanging around until I have to leave to meet up with a coworker for the first meeting.

Boredom equals lonely?

It's 4pm and I'm sitting here watching Law and Order on the USA Network-bored out of my mind. I did manage to get the grocery shopping done and all of my reviews that were due. The royal family is all sleeping and I'm bored. I watched the South Pacific and I'm bored. Now some of you might be wondering...well do something with Scott. Wish I could but he's at a friend's wedding in CT. He went up just for the day and will be coming home later tonight-probably in the middle of the nasty thunderstorm that we're supposed to be getting. So I'm bored. I could keep watchiing Law and Order. I could work on the current cross-stitch project that I've been working on. I could unpack some more books. I could clean. Or I could just stay bored.

A Big Friendly Wave to.....

Western NY! Hi to ya. Hope the kids are well. Hope that you haven't killed the husband yet. Feel free to post a comment if you want (I changed things so you can).

Work

Some of you regular viewers might be wondering why I haven't been bitching about my job lately. I've decided to take the one day at a time approach and know that I will get the last laugh regardless of what happens. I'm now in a new office, read not mine. Luckily it's only for a short time.

What's so different now?

Scott and I got into a conversation last night regarding cheating and what we feel is qualifying as cheating. Afterwords, I sat and thought that I really have no desire to be with any other person. I looked at Scott and asked what is it about him? In most of my other relationships, I've cheated. And certainly within the 9 month mark which Scott and I are quickly approaching. Is it because I've decided to grow up? Is it because Scott tries and usually succeeds in treating me the way I should be treated? Is it because I am truly experiencing love and everything that comes with it? Most of my other relationships I've been tired of them and am trying to figure out how to get rid of them. I'm usually starting fights for no reason...daily fights. Others, I've put so much of myself into the relationship and then get burned badly. Then I get to thinking that last year after the last major incident with Jeremy, I decided to start fresh. I went out with a couple of guys and realized that they weren't it for me...until I met Scott. With Scott, things are different. I'm relaxed when I'm home. I am truly happy being with Scott. Being with him has opened up my eyes to possibilities that I never thought were for me. I have had faith of love reinstilled into me-something which I thought was impossible after marrying my best friend and losing him almost as quickly as I met him.

Birthday Review part deux

My official birthday present from Scott was done last night-Scott had gotten tickets to see Tarzan on Broadway. Despite the cramped seats and the amount of children at the show, I enjoyed myself. Even Scott, who isn't a fan of musicals, chuckled a few times throughout the show. I'm a fan of Phil Collins and was looking forward to hearing his new songs for the musical. Most of the songs had that Phil touch to it and to me, they were obvious. Josh Strickland, former American Idol finalist, played Tarzan and I was very impressed with his voice. The actor who played Turk stole away the show with his antics and singing, however, I kept thinking about Rosie O'Donnell, who played Turk in Disney's cartoon movie. Overall it was an enjoyable show. Not the best musical I've seen nor the worse. So thanks Scott for purchasing these tickets all those months ago.

My Birthday Review

I thought that I would not only expand my review of Live but my birthday overall. First, I want to thank Scott again for taking the day off and spending it with me. Second, thanks to the soon to be ex-husband for not contacting me on my day and for going back to court. Now for the review....
Scott and I started it all off lazily and took our time before we headed out to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. We went to the gardens so I could smell the lilacs-my favorite flower. We spent some time in the gardens reflecting on us, our pasts, and looked to our future. It started sprinkle so instead of chancing the rain at the Brooklyn Zoo, we headed for home to relax before we headed out to dinner. At 4, we went to the subway and headed to Hell's Kitchen. We ate dinner at a Mexican restaurant called Arriba, Arriba! The food was decent-not as good as Don's or Boom Boom's (the Great New York State Fair) but decent enough. The wait staff, all good looking gay men, were attentive. The strawberry colada was too strong. The artwork a little graphic. The company definitely the best. After dinner, we headed to the Nokia Theater in Times Square to go see Live. I was a little surprised that the doors were already opened at 6:15 but hey, we went in, bought our tour t-shirts, grabbed our seats and listened to the cued up music. We were wondering why some of the artists like Tool and some other harder rock groups, were being played since neither one of us considers Live to be that hard rock. By the end of the first song performed by Live, we both understood. At 8pm, Michael Shapiro started things off. And as for opening acts that I've seen, he wasn't the worst and wasn't the best. I kept thinking New York City is a hard place to play for especially when he kept begging people to applaud him. Luckily, after the standard 45 minutes, he left the stage and everyone waited for Live to come on stage. At about 9:25pm, Live was there. Live was rocking. I felt that they played a good assortment of their songs from their albums except for V. They certainly played all of my favorites. I had been wanting them to play a few certain songs and every time I mentioned one of them to Scott, Ed and the boys would then be playing it in a couple of songs later. This was certainly true with Shit Towne. I'm still on a slight high from the show with different songs in my head but definitely more on the downside from the overall high of my 30th birthday. Overall, Live was totally awesome and I cannot wait until their album comes out AND they return to the Big Apple. As Scott and I were heading home with about 30 minutes left of my day, I stated that I don't know how any other birthday will be able to surpass my 30th. So next year, I get a chocolate cupcake (please not Hostess) with a candle.
Of course, I'm still trying to have my birthday last a little bit longer. Friday, I received my presents from my parents. Tuesday, Scott and I are going to see Tarzan. I still haven't received my present(s) from my brother.
So again thanks to Scott for helping me turn 30 and spending the best birthday with me.

Politics anyone?

You are a Social Conservative (36% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (26% permissive) You are best described as a: Totalitarian Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Concert

Live was FUCKING awesome. Probably the best performance that I've seen of them so far. More details after I get some sleep.

Happy Birthday to me

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday Dear Jeeeeeennnnnnn
Happy Birthday to me

Yes. It's official. I have entered another decade. I woke up in a good mood. And so far it's lasting. Probably because I know that I'm going to have a good dinner with Scott and then I'm seeing Live!!!!!!! Plus I don't have to deal with the bullshit of work.

My last day of being 29

With just a few more hours left of my last day of being 29 and so far so good. Today I was taken out to lunch by my coworkers and even though they tried to keep it a surprise, I did end up finding out what was going on but still had a good time. One of my coworkers was asking me if there was anything that I haven't done in my 20's or anything that I need to say and I was pretty much like no, I've done my time, made my mistakes, learned my lessons. I do find it surprising that just 10 years ago I was a junior in college and involved with Mike, dealing with double majoring, etc. To think that I've been engaged a few times, married, 3 different jobs, going through a divorce, no kids, suicide, losing friends, gaining and regaining old friends, years filled of yelling. Now that I'm leaving my 20's, I look to my 30's and what my future will hold. I have what I would like to have happen (marrying again, kids, move out of NYC, new job, etc). So I raise my glass to my 20's and thank them and drink to my 30's.

Stupid anonymous viewer

Obviously one doesn't understand when I state-don't bother posting about MY read that MY life. I'm not sitting here posting about anybody else. I write here for me. So DONNA or JEREMY, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE. Obviously I don't want anything to do with you. Jeremy-all I want is the divorce and for that stress in my life to be over and you know the reasons why. Donna-just leave me the hell alone. I don't have anything that you want. I don't have anything that you need. I certainly don't want or need anything from you.
So thanks to the stupid anonymous viewer who cannot read or even better yet, RESPECT my wish to not have anonymous posts only registered people can now post.
So with that, Jeremy, let me know what's up and then stop viewing my blog. You don't need to know what's going on with my life. You lost that opportunity last year. Move on with your life and stop looking back. I've moved on. I've been disappointed enough by you and I don't need the constant reminder of failure in my life.

Anonymous posts

If you can't have the balls to make your presence known, then don't bother wasting your 2 cents of comments about MY life.

3 more days

until I turn the big 30. I'm looking forward to seeing Live. I have a funny feeling that Jeremy will wait until my birthday to go back to court-I'm hoping that he doesn't and actually goes before hand. Then...I'm closer to being free and officially out of the fucking circle/square that I've been in for the last several years. After the divorce is final, I want ABSOLUTELY nothing from Jeremy. I don't want him posting on my blog. I don't want him even looking at it. I don't want the emails. I don't want the text messages. It's all bad reminders of what failed. So soon, hopefully soon. Of course, it could have been played out differently if certain things had happened last summer but choices were made and now the consequences. With everything else going on in my life, I don't need the stress of interference. So all I want is to know when he's gone back to court and when the whole thing is finally finished.
Back to the big 30. Another day, another decade of life complete. Time of reflection of my 20's (whoa nelly) and a look to my future (big smiles). And, of course, Live!

Mixed emotions day

Well, after hounding Jeremy for several months and even trying to look into getting his case dismissed, he actually responded and scanned copies of papers for the divorce. He also told me that he's going to go back to court next week to put in the rest of the papers so our divorce will be finalized. Now for the mixed emotions. I did once love this man and would have and did do everything possible to make our lives work. I even was the one that asked him to marry me. Unfortunately, he lied and betrayed me, hence the reasons why I moved out. That's the short of it. We even tried to make it work just a year ago. In about 2 weeks, will be the anniversary of where he threw his wedding band at me and screamed that our marriage was really over after me wanting to spend quality time with him and the cunt continually interrupting. At one point in our lives, we would talk on the phone for hours and hours. We never wanted to be apart. Exactly where did it go wrong? Was it when we first moved out of Mother Dear's and into a cramped small apartment and I couldn't deal with his mess? Was it one of the several other times we decided to get back together behind others' backs? In the back of my head, I always knew that he would end up with the cunt but I always wanted to defy fate. So this closure, as much as it is needed and wanted so I can move on with my life, it still hurts to think that I lost my best friend to lies and betrayals.
And now I'm alone with my thoughts as Scott went to play games, which was planned earlier on this week. Unfortunately, I don't know when he's coming home and he's talking about staying out late. I could really use some cuddle time with him. The situation with Jeremy has put my relationship with Scott into perspective. I am now with a man who loves me and that I love wholeheartedly. I don't need to lie to him. I don't feel like I'm being betrayed or being lied to. I don't need to have day after day, week after week, month after month of yelling and screaming. i don't even need an hour. One of Scott's friends stated that we are so stupidly in love. Yes, I am in love with Scott and again, I am so thankful that he is in my life. He challenges me and my ways of dealing with conflict. He shows me appreciation. He tries to make sure that I'm happy. I have not had one suicidal thought since I've been with Scott-an amazing feat considering that since I was about 12, I've always wanted to die. I now have reasons to smile. I want to do the little things for him like make sure that he eats a healthy dinner and rub his sore back and neck. I like looking forward to him coming home every night. I enjoy just sitting on the couch with him and just resting in his arms. So despite the drama with Jeremy, I'm know that I have a rock at home in Scott.

Body testing

How good are you with the human senses?

Princess Bride

Which Princess Bride Character Are You?
I'm Miracle Max
"Have fun storming the castle!"

Personal day

I took today off to take care of business. Unfortunately, I had to take the day off since I'm not going to my office space yet so...I get the pleasure of going back to court and file for divorce since Jeremy continues to be lazy son of a bitch and not finish what he started-at least it isn't on the NYS Court website. Then I'm actually going to go and check out the office space and visit the ladies that work there. Tonight, Scott and I are going to go to a Mets game. Yes, I'm actually going to another Mets game. It was a deal that Scott and I made-I go to a Mets game, he goes to a Yankees game.